No matter what the cause of the separation, most people want it finalised as soon as possible so they can move on with their lives predictably. It’s frustrating to have an uncertain future, with financial and parenting issues up in the air. It’s hard to get through the day worrying, “Will the children live with me?” and/or “Will my lifestyle be significantly downsized?” Couple this with the mourning of the life that should have been, the family that should have been and the wealth spent on professional fees. All these worries are a recipe for stress that can sometimes result in serious psychiatric problems, including clinical depression.
Live in the Moment
As we mourn what we no longer have, it’s helpful to show day to day gratitude for all the blessings that are available to us. Think about how lucky you are to have the loving, supportive people that you do have in your life and the home you have, even if it’s not what you were hoping for. Be grateful for the food you can buy, the job you have, the flowers in the Spring and the sunshine in Summer. These small pleasures remind us that every day can be amazing for people that can live in the moment.
Let Matters Run Their Course
Don’t waste your time and energy worrying about things you cannot control that might turn around on their own. For example, if your former partner isn’t paying financial support, give it a couple of days to see if the situation resolves. You can always seek legal options at a later date, but you don’t get back the time you spend pre-maturely worrying. Take the time you spend worrying and use it for something you enjoy.
Get Creative With Your Finances
This is the age of the “gig economy,” so if you are finding it hard to make ends meet, there are many options for making some extra money. Clean out your closets and sell the unwanted clothes on a consignment website or, if they are artistic enough, open up an Etsy shop. Have a talent? Sell a service such as writing blog posts, taking photographs or selling handmade soap. You might even end up with a new career that’s more lucrative, flexible and fulfilling than what you are doing now.